It happened suddenly, and not so sudden. Hugs gained some lingering qualities. To touch, which before only had contained friendly overtones changed into something more. Glances started to speak volumes on their own. And we did not notice until it was to late. It came as a shock. It was so unexpected. But even so, it was not so far fetched as I once would have believed it to be.

But it was wrong. Wrong because he is not mine to long for, to lust for. He belongs to her. She, which I cannot betray. And even though she has left him, he can never be mine.

I do not mourn him so much, because I loved her long before I met him. But I mourn the absence of trust. By feeling what I felt for him, I have unwillingly violated one of the unwritten rules which define our friendship, which defined us.

I did not want this, I did not ask for it, and I do not welcome it.

But, it has happened. What has been done cannot become undone. And so it is.

And this I cannot share with her. This I have to bear alone. And for that I do mourn.